It got me thinking, first, about where I am, much less going. I push carts for a big retailer with a wage barely above minimum wage. I do the same thing day in and day out. Why am I here? How did I get to place that seems to be going nowhere? What have I been doing? The answers came to me more quickly than I expected. And, I think, converge: I wanted to marry Katie.
She had a shot at what I thought would be a fantastic opportunity for her a thousand miles away and I let her know I thought it would be a fantastic opportunity for her even if it was a thousand miles away. She got the job and I followed her down because, well, I was going to marry her. (And she had no clue about the latter.)
My job did not follow me, nor did new ones appear quickly. My bills, however, did follow and did appear quickly. The only interview I had was pretty sketchy and I am glad that I didn't end up with the job. Pushing carts was the only job that came my way.
That pretty much answers the why and how. Next I started thinking , "So I am where I am so I could marry Katie... so I could prepare for the rest of our lives together." Wait, so I've spent the last year and a half getting ready for the rest of my life? That is true, but only to the extent that every day we are getting ready for the rest of our lives. "Is that it?" I wondered.
No. It is not. I am pushing carts but I enjoy my life (I am married! To a wonderful lady!). Moreover, I have enjoyed it, even when it was getting ready to get married, even before Katie knew this was my plan. I've enjoyed road-tripping, I've enjoyed spending a lot of time with my parents in Minnesota before I came down here, and more time when they were able to visit, I enjoyed seeing Katie regularly, I enjoyed going to church, I enjoyed meeting and getting to know new people (if only a couple of them well), I have enjoyed working on my car (at least part of the time), I've enjoyed learning new things at work, I have enjoyed learning how hard I can work, I've enjoyed having a regular routine that lasts longer than a semester.
And this isn't a complete list! My low level low wage life has been good! Most of the days haven't been exciting, but the events have been. (If my life was a movie I think it would be pretty good, more on that later.)
In other words, I have enjoyed living now, not just getting ready to live later, even though it has "just" been pushing carts "getting ready" for The Next Big Thing. If The Next Big Thing never comes (although I think it will) I'll be ok, in fact, I am sure I will continue to enjoy life as much as I have.
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